Thirty years ago I learned that even an expert’s wealth of knowledge and experience has its limits — and that sometimes having one’s own experience brings extraordinary benefits. The lesson became one of my favorite stories, told many times over coffee, written for the first time here.
When my younger daughter Lisa was almost three years old, our family dentist confronted me: “You’ve got to stop her from sucking her thumb or she’s going to have problems when her permanent teeth come in.”
“Would Stopz-it work?” I asked hopefully. I had never heard anyone talk about it, but I had seen the topical liquid on a pharmacy shelf and read its claim to end thumb sucking.
“No,” answered the father of seven, “it will wash off and leave you where you started.”
“Well, how can I stop her?”
He shrugged and mumbled something that didn’t seem worth remembering.
During the week that followed, I studied Lisa at play and waited for inspiration. None came. Desperate by the end of another week, I bought a bottle of Stopz-it.
Before I applied it to Lisa’s thumb, however, I tried it on my own. First thing in the morning, I painted a long, colorless streak from my wrist to my thumb joint. My day proceeded with all the usual cooking and clean-up and everything a mother might do for a three-year-old. After tucking her into bed that night, I returned to the kitchen, washed my hand one last time, and licked the length of my hand where I had applied Stopz-it.
My mouth opened as wide as it could, as if to make way for my tongue, which wanted to be anywhere but where it was. The taste was more horrible than asparagus when I myself was three.
After I recovered, I tiptoed into Lisa’s room with bottle in hand. She had fallen asleep with her favorite thumb next to her mouth. I touched the tip of the applicator lightly to one spot that would surely contact her tongue in the morning.
Sometime the next day, Lisa walked into the kitchen while I was putting things away. “Mommy, my thumby doesn’t taste good anymore.”
“Really, sweetie?” My voice feigned innocence.
She had nothing more to say and no further interest in her thumb. Stopz-it had ended her thumb sucking forever with one tiny dot. It had seemed as if no inspiration had come — but maybe it had.
I thought a lot about experts and experience after that. I found out that both terms derive from the Latin word experiri, meaning try. Listening to experts can save me a lot of time, trouble and money, I decided; but they haven’t tried every possible solution under every possible set of conditions in the universe. That leaves a little space for me to try something different.
By the way, I don’t recommend Stopz-it today. The only product by that name currently on the market, it appears, is a weed killer.
By the time I finished writing the story this month, I realized that just as valuable as the lesson about experts has been the mirth I enjoy every time I tell the story. No one shares my mirth more than Lisa, who approved of my posting the story with her pictures.
I loved the story-so simple without drama and trauma
Thank you, Nancy. The only one traumatized was myself – I think that’s what makes it so funny to me.
Classic, and so funny. You gotta real nice picture with the story to go with! Joy!
Sounds as if you enjoyed the story as much as Lisa and I do, Meer. I’m delighted. Thanks for letting me know.
I never had a thumb sucker, but I would have tried it also if necessary! Always good to consider suggestions and advice but follow up with your own decisions. Raising children is quite the adventure, wonderful and humbling at the same time.
Raising children definitely gives the soul plenty of opportunity to grow strong!
Interesting solution. I consulted with my pediatrician about thumb sucking. She said she sucked hers until she was about 12 and her thumbs were just fine! Shel Sillverstien has a wonderful poem about thumb suckers in Where the Sidewalk Ends. It was a favorite of my third grade class.
Great humor from your pediatrician, Carol. I looked up Silverstien’s poem, which was easy to find in a Google search. Very cute.
OMG this is too cute to be allowed!
Truly, my hands have not tasted as good and salty ever since. I’ve tried. The magic is just gone. 😂
My daughter sucked her fingers. Nothing worked until she wanted nail polish applied when she was around 3 1/2. I told her I would paint her nails if she stopped sucking her fingers. Voila! Up til then I worried myself to pieces over “the problem.” Thanks for sharing.
It’s amazing how we mothers can obsess, isn’t it? Thank you for sharing too.
I gave up the bottle at 3 after my aunt told me she’d give me a quarter If I did. Thank you so much for sharing! It’s a most welcome diversion at this time. I think I overlooked your notice last month. I made sure this month to mark it as important so I won’t miss it again.
You must really have been ready to give it up, Becky! I’m glad I could take you on a 5-minute vacation.